It's funny how we form friendships as adults. In the "normal" world, it typically happens in school. If you're in the UK like me, you spend seven years in primary school, then another six to eight years in secondary. You're lucky if you walk away with a handful of solid friends. But yacht life? That's a whole different classroom.
When I first stepped aboard as a greenie, I had no idea how much my social world was about to shift. Those school friendships I'd cultivated for years? They started to drift away. At the time, I barely noticed. I was too busy being swept up in the whirlwind of new connections on board.
Here's the thing about yacht life - it's intense. You're not just working with these people; you're living with them, eating with them, sharing tiny spaces and having adventures. Before you know it, they're calling you family, and you're calling them the same. And it happens on every boat. Each new contract brings a new "family," a new best friend, a new "person." It's amazing how quickly you can form these deep connections. But it's also a bit unsettling when you realise your old "person" from the last boat is fading into the distance, just like those school friends did. Each new vessel brings a fresh "crew family," complete with inside jokes, shared struggles, and that one person who becomes your rock. It's beautiful but bittersweet – watching previous boat families fade into Facebook memories as you build new ones.
Making friends as an adult is hard
Coming ashore feels like switching from supersonic to slow motion. While yacht life creates instant communities, land-based friendships develop at what feels like a glacial pace. No more bonding over stolen crew wine or shared hatred of weekend watches – suddenly, you're navigating the mysterious world of adult friendship-making.
It's okay to feel lost, to struggle with loneliness, to fumble through adult friendships. Remember, we're not just adjusting to a new lifestyle; we're navigating a new self-exploration. We're sifting through the cultural mishmash we've absorbed over years at sea, trying to find our authentic selves buried beneath layers of yachtie habits and global influences. But here's the thing - if there's one group of people equipped to handle this challenge, it's yachties. We've weathered storms, dealt with demanding guests, and adapted to new crews and cultures at every port. We can apply that same resilience and adaptability to this new adventure on land.
The Cultural Disconnect
It's challenging enough for shore-based adults to make friends, but for ex-yachties, it's like speaking a different language. Our references are different, our experiences unique – try explaining provisioning nightmares or tender adventures to someone who's never left their hometown! The key is finding common ground while embracing your unique perspective.
Here's a few ways that you could start to set the groundwork at home:
Try team sports like football, netball, or rugby
Join CrossFit or group fitness classes
Take up rock climbing
Join book clubs
Join local hiking groups
Attend industry meetups
Volunteer for community projects
Attend workshops in your area of interest
Digital Platforms (Yes, friend-dating apps!)
Bumble BFF
Facebook Groups for ex-yachties
Local community forums
The same resilience that helped you on board will serve you well in this new chapter. Be patient with the process, but be proactive. Set goals for social interaction, whether it's attending a new group, trying a different activity, or reaching out to potential friends.
Remember, meaningful friendships take time to develop, but the investment is worth it.
Your yachtie experience has given you unique social superpowers – you know how to read people, adapt to new situations, and create instant rapport. Now it's about applying these skills in a different context. You've got this!
Need Help?
If you're struggling with your transition to shore life or want to develop a personalized action plan for building your social circle, I'm here to help! Reach out today for a consultation, and let's chart your course to a fulfilling social life on land.
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